Put Down Your Phone

My fiance is shy he cant seem to get his words out when he meets new people but when he gets to know you he speaks his mind....through text...paragraphs and paragraphs long i know for a fact first hand because when we first started dating i had texts from him that were paragraphs describing my beauty now thats changed i get lots of i love you's but thats about it..
Its different with his friends because they're his friends and they like the same dorky things he likes and they text back paragraphs and paragraphs of the same shit(im sorry im mad) and THEYRE ALWAYS TEXTING BACK AND FORTH 24/7.

Today 7/8/14 was our 3 year anniversary

the day started out ok until we went to our anniversary dinner, he kept messing with his phone, answering texts..im like dude put your fucking phone away in mind. i wasnt going to say it i thought he would have the decency to put it away but no.

he could've easily ignored them he talks to them every single day  

I think that its rude 

you have a person in front you to start a conversation, but no

you would rather talk to the phone

He does this a lot not just our anniversary

hes on his phone instead of enjoying whats out there and i have to take that damn phone away 

"Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life"

- Omar Khayyam

Fuck It

my world is in limbo right now

not moving forward but not moving back

and this isnt even a poem for fucking sakes

every time there is a little smidge of something good something bad has to take it away or take over

Im 25 years old and I havent lived it 

i feel like my youth is getting robbed by fucking illnesses

im crying as i type these words 

it gets annoying when people tell me that im lucky

at least i dont have "that" illness

well motherfucker YOU'RE lucky

you dont have this 

try walking day in my shoes

you wouldn't even make it through getting dressed without taking pain killers

And a couple weeks ago the docs found another tumor in my brain but this one is smaller than the first one

still a tumor is tumor

I broke down in front of all the nurses 

I dont remember breaking down for the first one

and then i cried more for dramatic flare outside the hospital i know how cliche and cheesy 

nahhh i had real mental breakdown bitches
sooooo many health issues sooo many doctors and sooo many fucking pills
you would think i would be the poster child for depression 
I started seeing a psychiatrist because the docs started to worry I think theyre wondering why im so happy its scaring them a bit lol 
im just a happy person,i get in my moods like right now but never depressed

"Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power." 
-William James