UPDATE

And life keeps moving on.....(update) ive been doing alright,trying to go to the gym but its hard to get motivated but im trying ..i need so much motivation..i lost more movement in my right hand, nevermind im just going to make a video about it go to http://www.youtube.com/koikoigalaxia

Music It FEEDS the soul

Music, it can be a nice cup of tea for when you need to just relax or it can be

shot tequila or vodka, I prefer the tequila, when you need 

to get the party started or you yourself need to get in the mood. Right now im listening to Christmas Songs and its not even Xmas its getting ready to become Spring, its March.

Christmas songs whenever i listen to them I get a warm feeling and i think of everything that has to do with Xmas.

I can get lost in my music for hours and hours on end, maybe i should change my career cause I LOVEEEEEE music so much and I love finding new music wether

its new new or its an oldie. 

I just realized right now, listening to music, how big my brain surgery was..it just blew my mind away cause the surgeon could've touched something in there 
and I could have not been able to walk  or something else..omg they took something
out of my head!!!!! 

Ive had so many surgeries, im not scared of not waking up cause i dont think 
about it, i just want my music when i wake up cause it calms me 
down or else i couldnt be sane
i wish LIFE was one big soundtrack 
where everyone busted in  dance and somehow they were in sync and they knew how to dance..OMG i would love that...im picturing West Side Story but BETTER! 
 Bollywood but BETTER! 

I wish I could get paid for listening to music all day but alas tis the real world and 
you got to have money money money for that.

"Without music, life would be a mistake"
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Blue Christmas

Even though I'm all smiles about this Christmas making the best of it

which is about to be over in like 20 min

its 11:39 p.m.

12/25/2014

im glad its going to end so i dont have to fake pretend to be happy

I dont like to bash people on my blog, well ok its my 

blog so i can do whatever the hell i want to do 

but my MOTHER IN LAW was bringing EVERYONE down 

she was like a little kid throwing a tantrum 

ive never seen anyone be that grumpy 

11:45

I mean really its she wants attention, im not gonna go into details why she was mad and 

all but she didnt want go out she just wanted to be left alone

then my husband had to work from 2 to 10 pm so that ruined it too

11:50

I just want this day to end

I was calling all my family members and i had to pretend like i had a good 

Christmas, i know they did 

God i wished i had spent it with my Mexican family 

Next Year I AM SPENDING CHRISTMAS with them

11:55

so close

I went over to uncle Tommys for a bit at least they were cheery 

Michelle and Rice took me

Oh my Gosh I love that family its like they are sooooo warm and cozy lol

yea they told us what they got but none of that phases me, i dont mind them telling us 

because theyre excited and who doesnt want to tell when theyre excited

11:58

they gave us meaning me and brandon the cutest gift or gifts 

they wrapped 

12:00

ITS OVER

CHRISTMAS IS OVER!!!  

12/26/2014

anyways they wrapped a bunch of boxes which consisted of Graham Crackers,

Chocolate, and Marshmallows..oh and they gave us some hot chocolate 

mix packets for when it gets cold 

12:05

we stayed and chatted for a while and watched some tv, i didnt want to leave

but i was getting tired and we some yummy dip with crackers and 

Croissants with chicken salad  

it was good so that was our lunch lol 

12:10

  Im a huger and i give hugs whether they may want one or not and Uncle Tommy, Aunt Kim, 

And Abby give the best hugs out of all them lol 

so we left 

and we were still hungry 

so our Christmas dinner was

CHINESE 

isnt that festive lol 

it was the only place open 

and thank God that made Shannan my mother in law smile

we got food for everybody

12:20

I should go to bed I leave to go celebrate New Years with 

my Family

i miss them sooo much 

I leave like at 4:30pm but i havent done any packing yet 

my dad is going to pick up Brandon my husband on Monday

its Friday officially 

and im leaving with Michelle my sister in law and her boyfriend Rice

Today

12:25

we were both supposed to leave together my husband and I, but he messed up

his work schedule like always ugh he aggravates me sometimes 

but i loves him

12:29

im gonna go brush my teeth and take off my Christmas makeup

12:30

I had the very worst Christmas 

wait thats not true 

that one time i spent it in the hospital

no nope thats a lie i was happy before that lupus flare came on

This has truly been one of the worst Christmas Ever  

I hope to never experience it again

UGH

"When you have a bad day always reamember someone else's day is worse.

Be thankful for what you have"

-Ritu Ghatourey

Cumpleaños(Birthday)

I had a very grateful and DRAMATIC 25 birthday, it was on Dec 7 and it spilled onto Dec 8 cause i had to wait for my cake.
Since the Parks are no joke when they told me they were loud, my family are no angels not quiet ones that are singing the chorus to Gods birthday lol.
 Anyways since we're low low low class (we're struggling but we get our bills paid) I was very grateful for what i got for my birthday
 I wasnt expecting anything, some warm slippers and a warm blanket....Facebook posts mehhh those dont mean that much unless you come up with like a paragraph worth like my husband did lol

Happy Birthday beautiful. One of the biggest pleasures I have in life is being able to witness just how strong you are. 
What you had to endure the past few years is something that I don't think just anyone could endure. 
How you have been able to continue drawing WHILE still learning to use your opposite hand makes me even more grateful to have met you.
Aside all of your medical history you have always been like someone out of a movie. Your kind, caring, charitable, resourceful, you're a smartass, and you can light a fire under someone's butt when they deserve it. (Especially with me.) And I wouldn't have it any other way. 
You've changed me for the better and given me all the inspiration I need. When my comics get done it will be partly because of you and how you kept me on track. 
I've got plenty of future projects and one of them is showing people just how amazing of a spirit you have through my artwork. 
You are the kind of hero that inspires people to do better. 

Love you!

Aww I love him

he wrote that in the wee hours of the day and as the day went on it just got like a

rollercoaster, there were some high point and some low points

I got calls/Messages from everybody Parks/Carmonas/Reyes Family and that warmed my heart it even warms my heart typing this now, but that was awesome to get calls from everybody even now im receiving a call or two days later from ppl that think that they forgotten and its no biggie, hmmm WoW so thats how much of an impact i make on people, Getting a big head here people!!!!lol lol hahaha someone POP IT QUICK! 

anyways after the endless calls cause im wildly popular(reel in the sarcasm) me and my husband got into an argument i dont remember what about ON MY BIRTHDAY! it was a boring dull day so we have to have some form of excitement but it just came in a bad way. I did most of the yelling cause when it comes to fights, yelling fights he has no chance.

10 min 

thats about how long the fight took but it was still a fight or should i call it an 

argument
(I WISH I COULD WRITE WITH MY ACTUAL HANDS NOT TYPE
THIS POURING OF FEELINGS OUT WOULD BE SOOOOOOOOOOOO
MUCH FASTER)

Anyways my other Mom made my favorite dish which was SPAGHETTI and she made me
2!!!! CHEESECAKES
The part that I didnt like was that we ended up eating at separate times in different rooms
we had some Drama going on and it wasnt even that big of deal
Jeez Now that i think about it
it just pisses me of
PETTY SHIT
we just ate and a day later my other mom cut the the cheesecake
she didnt even let me cut it cause she was all dramatic and being moody
 All i wanted was the Happy Birthday song
No Happy Birthday Song
so that was that
my spectacular birthday
ahwell theres always next year

"The Old believe Everything; The Middle Aged Suspect Everything; The Young Know Everything."
-Oscar Wilde 

Berenice Parks

So much has happened to me since I last wrote my last entry and I dont remember when that was. 
Well I got my last name changed since i last wrote cause i got married
It was so stressful the weeks before i got married, there
was tears, arguments, drama, drama, DRAMA , that was 
unnecessary....the wedding was on August 31, 2014 and it was called 
off like four, five times by my mother-in-law sometimes she can be annoying.
I dont I CANT get stressed cause that flares up my lupus and my Fibromyalga so I 
unfortunately had one because it was super stressing
WEDDINGS 
ughhhh
fun

but its quieter around here these days 
less arguing because Michelle moved out 
that Brandons sister    

it was a really violent moving out day because it was so unexpected
Mom and Daughter got physically violent, I was scared and I just wanted to leave somewhere but I couldnt because they get dramatic and blame one another for running me out the house
and another factor
I dont have a car to drive and too scared to drive in the big lanes cause i havent driven in so long
I just wanted to get away from all the screaming 
I felt really anxious 

 But its calm for now until some one throws a rocks in 
Michelle might have gone in an abruptly way but she was eventually going to go
but her mom is not understanding that she wants to keep her close
 ohhh
ohhhwelll stubbornness
She will get someday

The night before our wedding we SO DRUNK

Bad Idea #1
We Decided To have our Bachelor/Bachelorette Party THEE NIGHT BEFORE our wedding

Bad Idea #2
Brandon Got Pinot Grigio....GROSS..that wine tasted like sour dry and salty fermented grapes blehhhh

 MOSCATO
MOSCATO
MOSCATO
good

Bad Idea #3
We Drank That Whole Bottle Of Pinot Grigio
and then some
We Got Wasted

Bad Idea #4
We Stayed Up ALLLL Night 
Went To Bed @5 a.m.
We Had To Get Up @9 a.m.
And only ONE of us made out Alive- Me 
Brandon had a Terrible Horrible Massive Hangover
Puking before, During, he held it in for a little bit while the Pastor was doing our little shindig but As Soon as He was done "you may kiss the bride, I now pronounce you mr and mrs Brandon Parks......He went to PUKE
Oy Vey

All In All 
I Got to Marry My Geeky Nerdy Hazeled Eyed 5Ft5in(not very tall but im 5ft2in) Prince
I love Him To Infinity and Beyond

"Love is When the other person's happiness is more important than your own."
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.  

Put Down Your Phone

My fiance is shy he cant seem to get his words out when he meets new people but when he gets to know you he speaks his mind....through text...paragraphs and paragraphs long i know for a fact first hand because when we first started dating i had texts from him that were paragraphs describing my beauty now thats changed i get lots of i love you's but thats about it..
Its different with his friends because they're his friends and they like the same dorky things he likes and they text back paragraphs and paragraphs of the same shit(im sorry im mad) and THEYRE ALWAYS TEXTING BACK AND FORTH 24/7.

Today 7/8/14 was our 3 year anniversary

the day started out ok until we went to our anniversary dinner, he kept messing with his phone, answering texts..im like dude put your fucking phone away in mind. i wasnt going to say it i thought he would have the decency to put it away but no.

he could've easily ignored them he talks to them every single day  

I think that its rude 

you have a person in front you to start a conversation, but no

you would rather talk to the phone

He does this a lot not just our anniversary

hes on his phone instead of enjoying whats out there and i have to take that damn phone away 

"Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life"

- Omar Khayyam

Fuck It

my world is in limbo right now

not moving forward but not moving back

and this isnt even a poem for fucking sakes

every time there is a little smidge of something good something bad has to take it away or take over

Im 25 years old and I havent lived it 

i feel like my youth is getting robbed by fucking illnesses

im crying as i type these words 

it gets annoying when people tell me that im lucky

at least i dont have "that" illness

well motherfucker YOU'RE lucky

you dont have this 

try walking day in my shoes

you wouldn't even make it through getting dressed without taking pain killers

And a couple weeks ago the docs found another tumor in my brain but this one is smaller than the first one

still a tumor is tumor

I broke down in front of all the nurses 

I dont remember breaking down for the first one

and then i cried more for dramatic flare outside the hospital i know how cliche and cheesy 

nahhh i had real mental breakdown bitches
sooooo many health issues sooo many doctors and sooo many fucking pills
you would think i would be the poster child for depression 
I started seeing a psychiatrist because the docs started to worry I think theyre wondering why im so happy its scaring them a bit lol 
im just a happy person,i get in my moods like right now but never depressed

"Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power." 
-William James