Broken Brain

I've had more seizures in the past month that I haven't had been feeling too hot for writing what's on my mind. It's been messing with my speech more and more and memory. I can't seem to remember certain things or dates in time.  3 seizures in one day, that's ridiculous for Me! I lost one whole day and I didn't even realize it. I woke up three times in the hospital thinking that I was home and one time was when I was in the MRI machine getting some tests done and I moved in the middle of the middle test. The hospital doctors kept me sleeping allllllll day so I wouldn't get another seizure. Now it's like someone has flipped a switch, I loved scary shit and thrillers..all that stuff causes me anxiety now and I start seizing up. IT SUCKS LIKE A MOTHER****** UGHHHHHHHHH!!! and I got one this morning that's why I'm writing this.

Harleen Frances Quinzel Tutorial

Keeping up Maintenance

Trying to keep up with maintenance with this blog and producing videos 

on YouTube is pretty challenging. Almost like keeping up with my eyebrows, 

i keep up with them most of the time and the other time i just let them go cause i just 

want to be lazy and pain free but most of all lazy

and they grow fast.

But I just found out that blogger has a phone app so that makes it 5x easier for me to do this. Not so sure about the videos but we're working on that. With the constant distractions of life its lucky that i get one or three a week so im gonna strive for that. Not every day cause that just unrealistic, if i get 4 or 5 in its because the phone app is really helping.

And if its going to be just one its going to be one DAMN good one cause i wouldnt let you guys hanging like that, please what kind of person do you think i am, A monster! 

But it will never come down to that

causeeeeee

im just 

too

damn

lazy

hehehe

ill just write the 4 really semi decent ones lol

just kidding

or am i

So the other day i had to re-read my blog description just to make sure what i was writing about was about accurate and it was semi-accurate..i was supposed to be writing about MY LIFE and news is not technically not my life. Well it is and its not cause is affecting me in some sort way, i just had to get this all sorted out before i reported some news story on here next time.

I get distracted by EVERYTHING,  im like a dog that gets distracted by a squirrel in those animated movies. Food, TV, Chores around the house, my videos, my music, my comfy bed, and everything else that needs to be done. And i can spend endless hours online, snapchat, and Instagram those are my big ones oh yeah i forgot Pinterest i can pin for hours. 

So im just trying to apologize for the 100th time lol 

"Continuous effort -  not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking

our potential"

- Winston Churchill 

Im Grateful For...

My Husband 

I dont know how I would do without my husband here in the now. I cant even imagine it, no yes i can i would do bad. Probably still be living with my parents and even in worse shape than i am now cause my parents like to baby me. Even though he may be an old man (hes a year older than me lol)I dont know how I WOULD function in this world NOW. Five years ago I could but not now hes made me all mushy and stuff, not my usual self. Hes made me into a better person and I him, I love him for that.  

Modern Medicine

What else can we say about this. Modern medicine is modern medicine and its fucking great. If it weren't for this stuff we all be lying almost dead or on our death beds right now till they eventually came up with something which i mean they would but still you get the picture. Modern Medicine has been pretty great to me cause it has kept me alive back then people affected with lupus only had so many years to live and even though they haven't come up with a cure they have a way to control and treat it where you can live a semi comfortable life. 

My Parents 
Im so grateful for my parents, I could write books and books about their struggles and accomplishments. They've had much more struggles yet they dont complain and i love them for that. This country has given them nothing and they dont complain.  They're old and my father is still working his ass off, trying to get the bills paid and since my mom and uncle are mentally unstable (schizophrenic) they both got medical bills and my father is their only Savior cause he loves them both and my other bitch uncles didnt want to deal with my unstable uncle so they dropped him off at my dads house. Bitches. They came here for a better chance at life, check cause back in Mexico we were dirt poor I remember that. And then I got sick so Im thankful for my parents for taking to all these specialists and all these doctors and giving me a chance at life. Back in Mexico, in the little town i mean little town where i was living i would've probably died and thats not joking. I would've probably seen some witch doctor than an actual doctor.
   

Music
Everybody likes music but im not everybody, Im actually grateful for it cause it helped me get me my speech back. So im like 5% of some I LOVE LOVE MUSIC. Actually more than my makeup and i love my makeup but if someone took away all my music that i accumulated over my 27 years I would SHOOT them in FACE...NO JOKE! I would be very boring person because music and art are the two things that make up my DNA.

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are charming
gardeners, who make our souls blossom."
- Marcel Proust

Youtubers Crash and Burn- Too much too fast

I did too much too fast with my health...thats a no
thats why i wasnt writing blogs 
i was staying up most nights editing videos 
I got sick as a result
and now my effing computer wont let me do my videos 
its stupid
my husband is gonna try to fix it, lets see what he can do
now i feel what they feel
YOUTUBER CRASH AND BURN
i was weak
but its so much fun being in front that camera 
that made totally worth it

"Growth begins when we begin to accept our own weakness"
- Jean Vanier

My Semi-Huge Makeup Collection

Favorite FOOD TV shows

I have a deep love with food thats why my big ol' Mexican family 

calls me gordita "little chubby one" as it translates to.

I take no offence to its just a nickname ever since i was a child 

but I LOVE FOOD!! 

so much that i used to cook with both hands before 2012 

and i got surgery done in 2012 which left my right side

paralyzed and it took me a while to retrain myself on how to somewhat perform some of the basics, I still have someone help me but i try

cause i love to cook 

Im a one handed home chef 

or as my mother-in-law likes to put it 

"someone who just likes to throw a bunch stuff together in a pan" 

at least my stuff comes out tasty *shade* 

Some of my favorite Food TV Shows

are as follows

MasterChef

i just love regular people like you and me going into these kind of competitions and making extraordinary dishes that leave the judges floored.

 MasterChef Jr.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE LOVE this version of it cause those are some talented ass kids. Im like whatttttttt where did they learn that and then i have to think twice thats its a new generation growing up technology and YouTube.

Top Chef

its a reality food competition, hey what more do i need.

Hell's Kitchen

Cause i like watching Gordon yelling his soul at people.

Diners, Drives Ins, and Dives

Guy Fieri just takes us to best little spots that city is really famous for or one hidden gem. They sometimes show how to make some of their food, i write it down.

Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern

This show explores various cultures through their food and they show some weird food but he eats up like its regular chicken and i loves it. I love seeing the different food and the different cultures.

Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

Travel, culture, wine, and all kinds of yummy food what else could I want out of a show..... the actual thing DUH 

 BUT since i dont get to get to experience i like to hear about it from 

a semi decent voice on great tv show 

UNWRAPPED

This was my favorite tv show of all time they didnt much cooking here but broke down your favorite snacks or cereals or anything food related. Marc Summers was my favorite voice to hear on the 4th of July i dont know why but he was always on the food network when this time rolled around and me and my sister where really excited to get to watch. I would talk about this show all day but that would just bore you guys, just know that this show was a big part of my life.

"In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport."

- Julia Child

Morning Tea

I think I planned this out right this morning 

yeah 

I got this

So my pitbull is getting old, poor baby, shes having trouble getting

on the bed when it was so easy for her like a few weeks ago

i just feel so bad for her 

i think its her hips but we have to call her vet 

So I scrolled through my Facebook yesterday 

and I noticed that my friend went to my buddy went to his high school 

10 YEAR REUNION 

I went to same high school which i think got me excited 

except I have 2 more years to plan my outfit

YES!

How about this guys 

An After school Satan Club for elementary schools

sounds bad huh

oh stop it you judgy mcjudgers

the group just want to give children a choice

because we never have its always been the heavenly father shoved down

our throat whether we like it or not 

whether we choose it or not 

and theyre giving us a choice 

not between Jesus or Satan 

“It’s critical that children understand that there are multiple perspectives on all issues, and that they have a choice in how they think,” said Doug Mesner, the Satanic Temple’s co-founder.

the group doesnt plan on actually worshiping the devil, the temple rejects all forms of super-naturalism and its committed to the view that scientific rationality provides the best measure of reality.

You can view the whole article here

I recently got into amateur photography and i'm going crazy snapping photos of anything and everything. I used to take just pics of myself and of my family but now I take pics of EVERYTHING.

I think I need to get a new camera though cause the one i got now is good for videos but is crazy heavy for me 

i need a light one 

You can out my Instagram 

to see what I came up with

Instagram/Time_Pirate

Oh its Harry Potters Birthday today 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!YAY 

ok I did better this time guys 

ill have more next time 

"Genious is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration."

- Thomas A. Edison  

Pissed Off So Mad

Morning Tea

So its looking like a cloudy day today and the news said

there might be chance of "Sprinkling" today 

but overall nice and cloudy

In today's blog 

Im going to start doing a morning blog every other day 

just to let you guys know 

its going to cover a variety of topics 

so here we go

Trump

"Russia, if you are listening, I hope you are able to find the 30,000 that are missing..."

that was yesterday 

and today he says he was just being sarcastic asking Russia to hack Clintons emails

"Of Course I was being sarcastic," he said on Fox and Friends this morning

 dude you dont even say that or fucking mess with the issue

jeez i cant believe this guy has so many supporters

Funny Tweet

Click it you wont regret it

So this started off hopeful but its 11:00 AM and I got to get off the computer now 

lets plan

cause i was just going off the top of my head 

"Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night."

- William Blake

I Couldnt Have a better Day (sarcasm)

(ALL THE CUSSWORDS IN THE WORLD INSERT HERE)

bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep 

Fuck

thats how my day went today

it was like a snowball effect 

the morning was pretty good till we found out our phones were shut off

we have to pay 400 dollars before we get our phones 

back on and we're completely broke

we dont even have money for toilet paper and we need that 

the cheapest toilet paper is .50cents 

and we have to scrounge around for that

I need a medicine thats $5 and we asked my husbands grandmother to borrow 5 dollars and she gave us 10 for the medicine and my husband gave it to my mother-in-law and she used for gas, i said fine ..but inside i was a little bit mad cause i knew they needed to get to work but they dont need to go to pointless places all the time...me and brandon dont go ANYWHERE and we're fine 

that was yesterday that she took the 10 dollars 

Now today the phones were turned off, we werent aware off that until they came home from work 

they came home around 11:30

we had a very important doctors appointment at 2:00pm

which we didnt know we had to pay a copay of $20 

we didnt have those $20

we trying our best to call and call on the LANDLINE that we did have

nobody at the the doctors office picked up

that was our fuck up we should called earlier 

but we were trying to get ahold of someone to try not to pay the copay if they could bill us

my mother-in-law lets just call her shannan 

Shannan was getting so shitty and angry 

she was yelling at us really mean comments 

since we couldn't get a hold of anybody if  we went down there (it was a drive so she was shitty for a reason but all of the other comments weren't necessary) and we didnt we have the copay they werent let me see the doctor

So we were in the car and she told Brandon to go and try one more time and he did 

waiting waiting waiting 

waiting

....

....

....

the fucking doctor cancelled on me

for the 3RD TIME!!!!!

I was waiting for this appointment eagerly

cause ive been having multiple seizures and they took an MRI in the fucking ER and they saw something abnormal 

I HAD FUCKING QUESTIONS

she moved till October 

OCTOBER

that gives me more time to stress about it

jeez thanks doc

"You need to able to able to manage stress because hard times will come, and a positive outlook is what gets you through."
- Marie Osmond 

   

We're Poor But Happy

Ive never been with a family that struggled so much

but even though we struggle we get though it

Im the only one that doesnt work in the family and I feel extra guilty cause they have to support me 

Im trying to get my work visa so that i can work so that i can contribute to this family and maybe help a little 

its like they get their checks and they are gone like water running through their fingers..i dont know how they do it 

I know how to save money..I hide it from them cause if they found out i have money, they ask 

I saved up like 600 dollars for my husbands Xmas Gift 

jeez its not that hard to save money just put away 

10 dollars each time you get paid and DONT TOUCH IT!

its that simple

ohwell they dont have the same mentality as me

but we've been so poor ive had to eat chocolate chips as a snack and there wasnt many 

we didnt have any food for a while

our fridge was bare, all we open it for was to cool off

And is still pretty bare but at least we're not starving now

It feels like we have gone through a lifetime of struggles and its only been 5 YEARS!!!

WOAH

Im tired

 I love them all 

especially my husband 

Even though we're poor 

I dont care about any of that 

As long as i got a roof over my head and a bed to sleep on 

Im good

We're Happy and Humble

"Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it, is."

-Benjamin Franklin 

All these Killings, Mass Shootings have left with no hope for humanity

Sweet Jesus where to begin, here in America all the police violence thats been going on and I support the blacklivesmatter movement cause its what i think 

its right

but I dont support police men being shot up at the same time 

its just not right 

im worried for this country
truly
it feels like we're going backwards 
and those horrible terrorists suicide bombing or shooting up somewhere in the world
i dont know if theyre planning it or just doing it randomly 
but im scared 
ive never been scared to go outside
to go out somewhere 
i dont feel safe anywhere
safety is no longer a choice we have cause a crazy person can just blow up or shoot up where we are currently standing 
its scary to think that they are teaching kids, young kids in schools how to hide if a shooter entered the school...i learned fire drills and tornado drills 
thats fucked up
I read a story today that in Munich, Germany there was a guy who shot 9 killing them and injuring another 16 but of these they were mostly children and this made me cry!
Children are innocent
the children were eating and couldnt run to get away 
well the fucker killed himself
he didnt deserve that 
he deserved so much more

"Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once."
-William Shakespeare

The Case Of Re-introducing MYSELF

Hey World I want to become a YouTuber

Its been a while since i posted on here but here we go.

I've been great so far, the first part of the summer wasnt so great I was having constant seizures.

There was constant trips to the ER and we didnt know what triggering the seizures cause i had been seizure free for years and all of the sudden i get seizure after seizure..no no no thats no bueno but i found out that my general doctor took me off this one medicine that she wasnt aware off was for seizures so they put me back on it. yeah i got all kinds of bad grammar in my blogs but theyre mine so please bare it.

They also put me on a STEROID, ugh but this steroid kinda changed my life, i feel GREAT but my doctors said to stay away from steroids they deteriorate bones 

but but but this steroid also has a big effect on my intimate life 

i dont want to do it at ALL these days

that makes me sad and that makes my husband sad

it makes me want to enjoy life more except for that part

I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING 

I went to a wedding in Kentucky, 6 hour drive and the hotel that we reserved for 5 people they messed up and only reserved for 2 so we got our money back and out there. We were livid. So we out lost in Kentucky at 9pm looking for anything that had a bed, we found a Motel6 that had two big beds ..for being a motel it was pretty fucking decent.. in the morning we found out it even had a pool so it was pretty nifty.

the wedding was another hour away but it was so cute and perfect for them. Im so happy for them, it was for my cousin-in-law shes so sweet and she deserved it. it was an outside wedding and i got so burned, i bubbled ive never had that, i got blisters from the sun. im getting too white lol im freaking Mexican! but its cool 

I WENT SWIMMING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 6 YEARS!!!!!

it felt awesome but i was a little not alot wobbly i kept falling in the water lol how do you that you may ask..idk lol

i almost drowned but i still think it was worth it lol

i love the water as long as it doesnt get past my neck 

 the lazy river was so relaxing ahhhhh i could stay there all day but the slides were soooooo much fun i hadnt had those feelings in a long time where i could just let go and be carefree.

Anyways

I have so many fucking excuses that i have just tell myself STOP and NO 

and just do it or else i wont get anything done with YouTube 

I want people to see me and be inspired/weirded/spooked 

i did a short video today featuring this blog but i still have to edit and upload it..ugh..see see..STOP 

I was doing videos on my webcam then i got an actual Camera back in February and a tripod i was so excited to get started but then I didnt they just sitting there and i kept coming up with excuses but most days i felt sick cause i was.

but no more

this has to stop

TODAY

Im Off

UPDATE

And life keeps moving on.....(update) ive been doing alright,trying to go to the gym but its hard to get motivated but im trying ..i need so much motivation..i lost more movement in my right hand, nevermind im just going to make a video about it go to http://www.youtube.com/koikoigalaxia